Comatose
by Von Alis
Summary: It started as a normal afternoon, it ended in tragedy. Ludwig and Gilbert have always loved each other and no amount of years will change that, but just how long are they willing to wait before one of them snaps? Rated M for Gilbert's foul mouth. Germancest. AU. Human names used.
1. One Moment

Ludwig gasped for air as his brother broke the deep kiss to latch firmly onto his younger brother's neck. Gilbert's fingers moved rapidly to the buttons on the sturdy blonde's suit jacket. The younger returned the favor as his trembling hands unbuckled the albino's belt.

Ludwig arched under his brother as he peeled off his jacket and Gilbert pulled his own jeans away. The younger blonde tugged his brother's shirt off over his head and Gilbert began to pick at his shirt buttons.

The doorbell rang loudly and both men groaned.

Ludwig shifted under his brother to move off the couch. "Aw, c'mon, Lutz, don't answer it." Gilbert pleaded flattening himself out over his brother.

"Gil, I have to-"

"No, you don't, we can just stay quiet until they leave."

"Sorry, Gilbert," with a sad smile he gripped Gilbert's waist and lifted him up to a sitting position on his lap. Pecking his partner's forehead he slid the albino onto the couch, "It won't take long."

Re-buttoning the top of his shirt Ludwig made his way to the door. The blonde opened the door partially and the voice that greeted him made the German wish he never had.

"Hon, hon, hon~ Did we interrupt something, mon ami?" a shaggy blond peered through the crack with hungry blue eyes.

"Yeah, you did motherfucker!" was the crass reply from the living room.

"Aw, mi amigo, Gil, we just want to go drinking," a dark haired Spaniard said cheerily.

Ludwig sighed and shook his head, "I'll talk to Gilbert, just wait." The German closed the front door and shook his head wearily, he certainly did not want to go drinking with them, but he owed his brother just for answering the door.

"They want to go drinking, bruder. Do you want to go?"

"Only if you go with me," the albino pouted turning his lower lip out at Ludwig. Ludwig smiled at his brother's childish response.

"Alright, put you pants on," the blonde turned back to the door.

"The Awesome Me doesn't need pants to have a good time!" came the immediate response.

Ludwig smiled, "I know that, but I don't think the bartender will agree." He laughed as his suit jacket hit the back of his head.

The German opened the door again to find the two men still waiting on the stoop. "We're coming-"

"Tell them they have to buy the drinks!" Gilbert called as he stomped loudly up the hall, pushing his boots onto his feet.

"Oh, but, mon ami..." Francis whined, as the two Germans emerged from their house.

"No, buts, Francis, I was just about to get some when you two showed up." Gilbert said glaring at the Frenchman, Ludwig blushed deeply.

"Hon, hon, hon~ Have you ever tried a foursome, Gil?" Francis smirked and he turned to ogle the muscular blonde German.

Gilbert immediately latched onto the broad German's arm, "Hands off, Frenchie, he's mine." Ludwig's face turned to one of pure fear under the Frenchman's starving gaze.

"Um, let's get going," Ludwig changed the subject quickly and hurried over to Francis' car and pulled Gilbert into the passenger seat beside him as Antonio and Francis clambered into the front with Francis at the wheel. The Frenchmen pulled out of the driveway and onto the main drag, as he sped up Gilbert rolled down the side window and stuck his head out.

"Whooo! We're goin' clubbing!" He shouted into the thrashing wind.

"Gilbert, don't do that, it's dangerous!" Ludwig cried as he tugged at his brother's shirt.

"Aw, c'mon, West, I'll be fine," Gilbert replied as he leaned back into the vehicle.

"Ah, mi amigos, we're here!" Antonio threw open the passenger side door as soon as the car stopped and the four friends headed into the bar.

Antonio opened the door to the dark building and the smell of beer and cigarettes misted around them along with the loud buzzing of the bar attendees. The four hopped up onto the barstools and ordered their drinks, and soon were lost to the haze of alcohol and raucous conversation.

~0o0~

"Luddy, guess what?" Gilbert drawled as the four drunkards, one only slightly less than sober, stumbled back to the car.

"What, Gilbert?" Ludwig sighed as he helped his brother into the front passenger's seat.

"We are totally shitfaced right now," the albino replied giggling as Ludwig lifted Gilbert's leg into the car.

"I know, Gil, just stay here I'll take you home." Ludwig said tiredly shutting the car door before opening the door for Antonio and Francis and helping them into the car. Once he finished he climbed into the driver's and started the vehicle after wrangling the keys out of Francis' hand.

The road was dark and empty except for the occasional car. "Lutz, Lutz, Luddy," Gilbert cried drunkenly and pulled at the younger brother's shirt.

"Gilbert, stop, I'm driving, I need to focus," two-thirds of the Bad Touch Trio had fallen asleep in the back of the car but Gilbert still leaned drunkenly against his brother.

"Lutz," Gilbert breathed hotly on Ludwig's ear and his arm snaked across his chest. "Lutz, we never finished what we started," the albino moaned into his brother's ear seductively.

"Gil, I can't, I'm driving, just, just wait!" the blonde tried to pull away from his older brother's grasp while keeping his tired eyes on the road.

"Lutz," the silver haired man moaned before pulling his brother into a deep kiss. Ludwig struggled, trying to pull away. Suddenly bright lights filled the German's sight and a deep horn echoed in the night air before a sound like water splashing about them as metal met metal.

~0o0~

Glass tinkled as it fell from the shattered windshield, white lights reflected in soft, blurred circles in his waking vision. The silver-haired German raised himself slowly from his resting place and glanced about the ravaged vehicle. Two bodies lay slumped in the backseats, heads resting on each other, small streams of blood ran from cuts all over their forms, but their breaths were slow and even, his friends were only unconscious.

The albino felt a harsh thumping pain in his skull and reached a bloodied hand to his head squeezing his eyes shut. Two bodies in the back, there should be three, there should be three bodies. The elder Beilschmidt brother opened his eyes to search for his younger. Immediately he realized he was lying on top of Ludwig's unmoving form.

Ludwig, that was his brother's name, his lover's name. The name repeated over and over in his head as time slowed and he ran a pale hand over the man's soft cheek. Ludwig, Ludwig, lights, blue and red and white and yellow flashed in his eyes, reflecting off the shattered glass, Ludwig, Ludwig, "Ludwig!"

The albino screamed that name, "Ludwig, Ludwig!" Arms reached around him and pulled him from the wreckage as he screamed and struggled against them. "Ludwig, Ludwig!"

Only one word, he could only think of one word, one name, one person, one moment, he had done it. In one moment he had hurt one person, one name, one word, Ludwig.

He was strapped down and rolled into the ambulance, and now he was screaming, shaking, struggling as they reached down to place the mask over his face. "No, no, no! I don't want it, not until Ludwig is ok! No treatment! I won't consent!"

The paramedics stared at the half-crazed man in their truck, "It's just oxygen, we're here to help you."

"No, no, no! Not yet! Not yet! My brother's name is Ludwig Beilschmidt, he was in the crash too! You have to save him! Please save him!"

"We will, we will, you just have to hold still, you've been in an accident and-"

"I know where the hell I've been, but you need to save him!"

"It's only oxygen we can help you here, you'll see your brother in the hospital, please, just hold still." The oxygen mask was placed over the elder Beilschmidt's face and he took his first real breath of air since, since… When? He couldn't remember. But there were other things he couldn't remember that were more troubling than that.

"What are the names of the other two passengers that were in the car?" one paramedic asked and that mask was lifted from his face.

"The blonde is Francis Bonnefoy and the brunette is Antonio Fernandez Carriedo."

"Is there any immediate family we can call for either of them?"

"Um, for Francis, you could call Arthur Kirkland; they're engaged, but Antonio. He's close friends with the Vargas brothers, Feliciano and Lovino."

"And you? Who should we call from your immediate family?"

The man stared blankly up at the paramedic for a moment, as if trying to understand what he had just said. As his mind finally processed the words his face collapsed in a silent scream as tears poured from his ruby eyes once more and he screamed brokenly.

"No, no! There's no one! I only have Ludwig! Only my Ludwig! Only Lutz! Ludwig!" He screamed his brother's name, "Luddy!" His body arched up as he pulled at the restraints trying to break free. "My little brother! My Luddy!"

"I need a sedative, stat!" one paramedic cried out and the other handed him a filled syringe. Seeing the instrument the silver haired man fell back onto the stretcher.

"No, no, wait, I can calm myself, I can calm down, I just want to see Ludwig before anything," the man breathed heavily for a moment, "Please, just some oxygen."

The medic nodded and the mask was placed over his face gently. The German took in the air in gulps, as if it was running out and they continued to the hospital in silence, with only the faint wailing of sirens around them.

~0o0~

The albino's cot sat outside of surgery as he waited for his brother's operation to finish, the paramedics had wheeled them both in and left him there after he had seen his brother. Ludwig's face was smeared with blood but he had looked so peaceful, almost angelic. The elder German could not resist leaning out of the stretcher, the medics had unstrapped him, and pressing a soft kiss onto his brother's forehead as they rolled him by.

So now he sat there, probably forgotten by the nurses, his injuries didn't look at all significant although he had been in the front seat. There were only two things bothering him, the pain growing under his skull and the fact that surgeons were currently pulling pieces of a car of out of his beloved brother. Hours, or maybe just minutes had passed before the wide double doors swung open and the head surgeon emerged smiling at the albino.

"Good news, Mr. Beilschmidt, the injuries were not major and your brother is stable,"

"Thanks, sir, can I see him soon?" the elder brother's grin widened and he looked joyfully up at the surgeon,

"Of course, Mr. Beilschmidt… That sounds too formal, I'm sorry, what's your first name?"

"It's…" the man trailed off.

"Mr. Beilschmidt? Are you alright?"

The albino could not respond, everything had slowed down; the doctor's voice was deep and slurred. His name. What was his name? Why couldn't he remember? Suddenly a bright light was shone into his eyes, and the world grew silent.

Outside Beilschmidt's mind the world turned into chaos. "Mr. Beilschmidt! Beilschmidt! Can you hear me? Nurse!"

"Doctor?"

"We need to get this man to treatment now; he is close to becoming comatose!" The doctor ordered and the stretcher was wheeled quickly out of the hall, wires and needles appearing from every side just as another stretcher was rolled slowly out of surgery.

~0o0~

A young blond reporter stood beside a crumpled piece of metal that was once a car. The side of the vehicle had been peeled away like tinfoil revealing the bloodstained interior. "I am currently standing in front of a near deadly crash that took place near a quiet residential neighborhood when this car crashed head-on with a turning eighteen-wheeler. Luckily for the passengers the driver of this vehicle, Ludwig Beilschmidt, momentarily kept control of the vehicle swerving it away from traffic before the car flipped and rolled down this grassy ravine."

"Three of the passengers had blood-alcohol levels well above the legal limit; however the driver was not under the influence. According to two of the passengers, Francis Bonnefoy and Antonio Fernandez Carreido who were not seriously injured, the four had been drinking at a local bar, Beilschmidt had helped each of his passengers into the car and buckled them all in properly. The conditions of Ludwig Beilschmidt and his older brother, Gilbert, are not yet known. This is Kathy Cox, Channel 12 News."


	2. One Person

The slow beep of a heart monitor slowly melded with his conscious. The world was dark and the whir of machines surrounded him. For a moment he lay contemplating the fact that he could not see before realizing he had not opened his eyes.

Slowly his blue eyes opened to the world, a sickly yellow crust covered his eyelashes, causing them to stick together until he opened his eyes completely. Ludwig groaned as a dull pain became apparent to his waking body. Everything ached, even his eyelids as he squeezed them shut again.

From one side of the room he heard someone shift and stand from their chair.

"Ludwig? Doctor! He's awake! Doctor!" Francis' voice was loud but it cracked as if he hadn't used it in years. Fast footsteps followed after his cries and suddenly Ludwig was surrounded by the hospital staff.

"Mr. Beilschmidt? Can you hear me?" a doctor shone a bright light into Ludwig's blurry eyes and the blonde squirmed to move away from the blinding light.

"Gilbert," he groaned and the doctor pulled away from him.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, answer me if you can hear me." The doctor in his white coat instructed.

"Y-yes, I can hear you..." He stared confusedly up at up at Antonio and Francis as the pair peered over the staff to see their friend. "Where's Gilbert?" he asked weakly.

The remaining two-thirds of the Trio's faces fell and they backed slowly away from Ludwig's bed as a nurse wiped his leaky eyes clean and the rest of the medical staff dispersed. The doctor stood solemnly beside the German and shook his head slowly.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, your brother refused immediate medical attention, he waited until your condition was stable, we were too late to-"

"Oh, gott, he's dead! Gilbert's dead!" Ludwig screamed warm sticky tears leaking from his eyes, "He can't be, Gil's a fighter!"

"No, Mr. Beilschmidt, your brother's not dead; however his brain was damaged in the crash. The temporal lobe was severely bruised and while waiting for treatment Gilbert began bleeding into his brain. We were too late with treatment, your brother slipped into a coma."

Ludwig stared at the doctor's serene face, only slightly clouded with worry. "Now, Mr. Beilschmidt, about your condition, you did not suffer severe head trauma like your brother, however your leg was pierced by the gear shift, no major damage you'll walk fine. A few lacerations along your left arm from the driver's window, again nothing severe. You did, however, have a slight concussion, so you'll be kept under observation for a few days at least. Your brother's head must have swung against yours during the initial impact."

The younger brother felt his chest tighten at that statement, he remembered the kiss. Gilbert leaning against him, his lips tasting of beer and cigarettes, he'd been smoking in the bar. It was all his fault, if only he had pushed Gilbert away sooner, no, he should have made them leave the bar sooner, then his brother wouldn't have been so reckless.

It was all his fault; he had done this to Gilbert, all his fault. The world slowed and his vision blurred.

"Beilschmidt?" doctor called, "Nurse! Blood pressure is over one-eighty, pulse ninety-four and rising, the patient is going into cardiac arrest! Paddles stat!" Francis and Antonio were forced quickly out of the room and into the hall.

"Clear!"

Electricity coursed through Ludwig's body and the heart monitor gave a long resounding beep as he flat lined.

"Clear!"

His body jerked off the bed, all his fault, it was all his fault.

"Clear!"

Another jerk and the loud long scream from the monitor became a steady pulse. "BP and heart rate returning to normal, patient is stabilizing."

Ludwig's body died once on that bed, but inside nothing could stop him from dying many times over.

~0o0~

"So, brother, it's been a year. Yes, today last year was the day of the accident. I'm still sorry all this happened, it was my fault, I was the one driving, I should have driven you home sooner." Ludwig smiled lovingly at the sleeping form in the bed. "The doctors are still saying you won't ever wake up, but I don't believe them, and you shouldn't either. You were always the fighter, Gilbert; you have enough fight for the both of us."

The blonde stared quietly at his brother's peaceful face; Gilbert looked so serious when he slept. Ludwig wished his brother would smile again; he missed his elder brother's smirks and grins, he missed everything about his unconscious brother.

"Mr. Beilschmidt?" a nurse poked her head into the small room, "You have visitors."

Ludwig smiled and nodded, "Gilbert, your friends came, just like they promised they would," he murmured as the nurse left.

Four friends entered the softly lit room; the afternoon sun tinted the walls orange. Dust caught the light turning their slow walk toward the bed into an almost dreamlike trance. The normally loud and crass Arthur Kirkland smiled sadly at the German seated beside his brother before quietly pinning a card to the already cluttered wall.

Gilbert had gotten cards from nearly everyone who had ever met him, even people who hadn't. Ludwig had been given a mail sack full of letters from children that went to school not far from their neighborhood. Ludwig didn't recall having ever known any of the names but he remembered the warm summer afternoons when Gilbert would go out to play with the neighborhood kids.

He smiled at the memory of having to break up the loud shouting matches that would arise between Gilbert and some seven year-old over a goal or a point. Gilbert always so great with the children though, besides the occasional bickering, although blonde recalled having to scold his older brother for resorting to profanity when things didn't go his way.

Ludwig reached across the bed to push a strand of silver hair from Gilbert's face with a loving hand. He'd even thought of adopting a child of their own. But those dreams were long gone, replaced only by the haunting thoughts of what could have and should have been.

"Hello, mon ami, how have we been doing?" a thickly accented voice filled his ears and shattered his thoughts.

"Fine, just fine, Gilbert hasn't had any trouble, no more seizures." Ludwig replied distantly as he looked up at his friend and clasped his brother's warm hand in his.

Antonio smiled, "That's good, mi amigo, and you? How are you?"

"Just fine, Antonio, thanks. We're really glad you all came," Ludwig nodded his head. "Oh, by the way, Francis, have you and Arthur set a date for your wedding yet?"

"Ludwig," Francis sighed wearily taking Arthur's hand in his.

"Ludwig, the wedding was last month," the Englishman finished for his partner, "You weren't there."

"Oh, oh... I'm sorry, I've just been so... Preoccupied, I'm sorry that's not like me to do that..." Ludwig trailed off glancing at his sleeping brother with glistening eyes.

"It's alright, mi amigo-"

"No, it's not," Francis cut off the tanned Spaniard, "Ludwig, have you even gone back to work? Your grandfather's money is not going to last forever like this!"

"Of course I've gone to work! I understand that!" suddenly Ludwig's voice grew quiet as he glanced at his brother's softly breathing form.

"Shh..." He hushed the silent air around him noticing the quickening pulse on the heart monitor and stroked Gilbert's pale hand. "Of course I've thought of that, Francis... I've been working at the same law firm for years now, they understood why I had to be gone for a while, but I went back months ago."

"Ludwig!" came a sudden shout and Ludwig stood quickly, frightened by the noise he shifted closer to his brother's bed. A cheerful brunette burst through the door, his curl bouncing in excitement. "Ludwig, I haven't seen you in so long!" The young man hurried over to the blonde and hugged him tightly.

"H-hey, Feliciano," Ludwig stuttered, as soon as the Italian released him he took a slow step back.

"Oh, everything is so pretty in here; did you get all these pretty cards and flowers and- Oh, so cute!" Feliciano sang out in his singsong Italian accent noticing the stuffed panda Ludwig had brought from home and placed on the windowsill. The window being the only area of the room free of clutter.

"No, no they're all Gilbert's." Ludwig replied glancing around, he hadn't pinned up the few letters he had gotten, but he had read every single piece of mail the two brothers had gotten aloud to Gilbert.

"Oh," Feliciano's face seemed to fall as he glanced at the hospital bed, as though disappointed.

"Fratello! Where the hell are you?" a heavily accented voice rang out down the hallway, earning the owner a few desperate shushes from the hospital staff.

"Sir, if you could keep your voice down this is a-" the nurse was cutoff.

"Chigi! I don't care! Where is my fratello stupido?" Suddenly a darker brunette charged through the door, "Feliciano! Why are we visiting potato bastard and his vegetable brother?"

"Lovino, please don't be so rude…" Feli replied, his curl drooping.

"What do I care? It's time to go, fratello!" Lovi answered as he took his brother by the arm and began to pull his brother from the room.

Antonio smiled and Lovino before turning to Ludwig, "Visiting hours are almost over, we should all go, mi amigos."

The tall blonde nodded sadly, "I'll walk you all out, thank you for coming." The troupe trudged in silence to the elevators, as the group descended Francis turned again to Ludwig.

"Ludwig, I- Have you considered… Letting Gilbert go?" Dark blue eyes stared into the pair of clear icy irises.

"W-What? No! How could you? How dare you? He is your friend!" Ludwig snarled as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

"Was, Ludwig, Gilbert's… Gilbert's not there anymore…" Francis' eyes were dull and watery as he choked on his words.

"He still is alive! He's not brain dead!" The arguing pair stepped off the elevator followed by their friends.

"You have to understand that he's not coming back, Ludwig!"

Suddenly Francis' feet left the ground and his hands reached up to try and pry Ludwig's strong hand from his shirt collar. A nurse gasped as the German's fist swung back in preparation to hit the smaller man in his grasp, the Frenchman flinched instinctively, but the blow never came. Ludwig looked with wide surprised eyes at the dangling Frenchman in front of him and lowered his fist.

"Ludwig! Ludwig, stop!" an English accent burst out behind him. Slowly Francis's toes touched the ground softly as the tall blonde lowered him. Francis backpedaled quickly, rubbing the red marks around his throat from the tightened shirt collar.

Arthur gripped his partner's forearm, "You bloody fool! What the hell were you thinking, frog?"

"Fr-Francis, I'm so sorry, I don't know-"

"No, Ludwig, don't. Insulting someone like that! Of course you're going to get banged up, cheese monkey!" the islander snarled.

"Francisco, mi amigo, this isn't like you..." Antonio said slowly.

"I-I'm sorry, Ludwig, your cousin, he, I've been talking to him..."

"Roderich? He hasn't visited once; you know he has always had it out for Gilbert..."

"You know that Austrian has a way with words, you can't expect him to tell you what's right," Arthur said to his husband.

"I know, I'm sorry both of you..." Francis smiled hopelessly and pulled his lover close, "Hon, hon, hon~ I think there's a punishment in order for your insults."

Arthur pushed him away harshly, "Get the hell off me, bloody pervert."

"Oh, but, mon cher~" Francis reached out for the Englishman who slapped his hands playfully away.

"I'll take them home, mi amigo," smiled Antonio.

Ludwig nodded, "Thank you all for coming."

"Well, then let's go, Lovi!" The Spaniard suddenly wrapped an arm around the impatient Italian.

"Chigi! Let me go you dirty Spagnolo!" replied Lovino furiously, but allowed himself to be walked through the automatic sliding door.

The married couple nodded their goodbyes to Ludwig before following their friends out. Ludwig turned and caught his breath when he nearly crashed into a short Italian brunette.

"You know we only want to help, Ludwig..." Feliciano said quietly, almost too quietly the German noted.

"F-Feli, uh, I know, times are hard for everyone... Shouldn't you be going?"

"I just want you to know that I'm here for you... Luddy," suddenly the Italian's thin arms were around his neck and his breath was warm against Ludwig's face.

"What the hell? Get off! What are you doing?" with a harsh shove Ludwig forced the smaller man off him. "How dare you? How dare you use him to get to me?"

"I'm only looking out for you, West,"

"No! No, you did not just call me that! Only he called me that! Only my brother!"

"Your brother, you could have never had him! You can have me!" Feliciano pleaded.

"I want him! I need my Gilbert! Not you, you aren't him!" Ludwig pressed the elevator button several times until finally slamming his thumb into it so hard the plastic cracked. "I want my Gilbert, I need him... And he needs me!"

"West-"

"Don't you call me that! Don't you ever call me that!" the German snarled through gritted teeth. The elevators doors opened and he began to step inside, "Only he could call me that, only my East..." With that he stepped into the elevator and the doors shut with a dull thud.

The warmer air in the elevator flowed around Ludwig and he breathed deeply as he stepped once again onto the third floor, where his brother lay. Slinking quietly into the dark shadowy room he reached out and pressed the "Stop" button on a small CD player on the bedside table, with a sudden click Gilbert's favorite song stopped. But the memories still haunted Ludwig, just like the voices that plagued the song's narrator. Gilbert always mocked him for talking about songs as if they were books, but Ludwig liked songs that told stories, they just seemed more interesting.

He remembered the day Arthur had come in, the first time he had visited since the accident.

~0o0~

The Englishman stepped quietly into the room and glanced at the CD player as the almost mournful tune rang out. "Hotel California?" the green-eyed man asked softly.

"Yeah, it was always his favorite..." Ludwig responded his ice blue eyes shimmering.

"I always took him for the punk-rock type... Guess you never really know someone..." Arthur trailed off remembering the days he had spent with Gilbert, in a rather short lived garage band.

"He never seizes when I play it... It must be true what they say about coma patients."

"What's that?"

"They can hear everything that goes on around them while they're unconscious..."

"Oh..."

~0o0~

Ludwig choked loudly on the lump in his throat before crawling slowly into the hospital bed with his brother, wrapping his arms gently around the albino's warm body. "Oh, Gilbert, what am I going to do? What am I to do while you're away?"

Ludwig lifted  
himself up slowly to kiss his brother's lips softly before falling asleep to the raspy breath of the machines.

~0o0~

"Sir," a kind hand shook him gently and Ludwig blinked his eyes in the blue tinted darkness. "Sir, I'm going to have to ask you to leave, visiting hours are over."

"Hm? Oh, oh yes, I'm sorry I must have fallen asleep." Ludwig slid off the bed and kissed Gilbert's cheek, "Gute Nacht, bruder. I'll be back tomorrow."

The blonde walked slowly out of the hospital and clambered tiredly into his car before driving off into the sleepless night.

~0o0~

The blonde reporter stood solemnly at a hospital entrance. "This is the Bell-Shepherd Hospital where for one year to this date Gilbert Beilschmidt has lain unconscious on a hospital bed. A year after the accident that took his brother's conscious Ludwig Beilschmidt still visits his older brother in this hospital although Bell-Shepherd's doctors say that the elder Beilschmidt may never recover. This is Kathy Cox, Channel 12 News."

Sorry these are taking awhile, I tend to be a bit ADD when it comes to writing... That and I have a lot of summer projects to do... Sorry I had to make Francis that bad guy in this one, couldn't help it... Hope you guys enjoy!~


	3. One Name

'On a dark desert highway,

Cool wind in my hair.

Warm smell of colitas,

Rising up through the air.'

Ludwig drove down the lonely highway to the hospital. The top of his dark convertible was rolled down and the summer air was fresh against his face. The bright glow of the cigarette between his lips faded as the wind carried the ash away.

'Up ahead in the distance,

I saw a shimmering light,

My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim,

I had to stop for the night.'

The Bell-Shepherd's windows reflected the bright orange sunset as Ludwig pulled into the parking lot. He clambered out if the car and walked through the glass sliding doors.

"Good afternoon, Mr. Beilschmidt," said the nurse sitting at the lobby desk.

"Good afternoon," Ludwig replied amiably as he scrawled his name in the logbook pushed toward him. "Room 445 as always," the German smiled sadly as he turned to go.

"Wait, Mr. Beilschmidt!" the nurse called out. "Your brother has been moved temporarily to the coma ward."

"Why? Why was he moved?" Ludwig gaped at the nurse.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Beilschmidt, I don't know, a nurse will be here momentarily to take you to the ward. Oh, she's here already."

'There she stood in the doorway,

I heard the mission bell.

I was thinking to myself,

This could be heaven or this could be hell'

A smiling nurse with light brown hair waved, "The coma ward is down here on the first floor, I'll show you."

"R-right," Ludwig stuttered as he followed her down the hall. "Why was he moved?"

"Oh, there was some maintenance that had to be done on the room; we'll send you all the personal items that were in the room."

Ludwig nodded but inside he felt doubtful that Gilbert would ever get his own room back.

'Then she lit up a candle,

And she showed me the way.

There were voices down the corridor,

I thought I heard them say,'

'Welcome to the Hotel California.'

Ludwig stepped into the dimly lit concrete room; the whispers of machines surrounded him as he stared in horror at the sleeping patients in the ward.

'Such a lovely place,

(Such a lovely place)'

"It's always very quiet in here," said the nurse quietly and Ludwig jumped at the sound of her voice by his ear.

"Y-Yeah, I can see why," the German stuttered uneasily.

"Your brother is the last bed on the right; visiting hours are over at nine as usual."

"Right, thanks," Ludwig said flatly as he walked towards his brother. Gilbert's face seemed to glow in the white florescent light.

'Such a lovely face.'

Ludwig brushed his hand gently across Gilbert's face as he leaned over the bed to kiss him. Machines breathed softly by most of the beds, though there were still several open.

'Plenty of room at the Hotel California,

Any time of year,

(Any time of year)

You can find it here.'

Ludwig watched as patients came and stayed. They were all guests here. In this little hotel, this coma ward. And through the years the tape still played "Hotel California."

'Her mind is Tiffany-twisted,

She got the Mercedes bends,'

"Mr. Beilschmidt good to see you again," said the pretty brown-haired nurse who watched over the coma ward, a new necklace gleamed around her throat. Another present from a comatose patient's relative.

"Good to see you too," Ludwig replied casually, the nurse was known to date just about any man who passed through the ward's doors, except the patients and Ludwig himself of course.

'She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys,

She calls friends.

How they dance in the courtyard,

Sweet, summer sweat.

Some dance to remember,

Some dance to forget.'

"How are my pretty boys?" the nurse would call out as she made her rounds.

Ludwig always asked her why she called her patients that; the nurse always said they were her friends. Her closest friends. That they all came to her to sleep, to remember their lives and to forget them too.

The lights were dimming in the ward the day Ludwig heard the footsteps coming towards him in the coma ward. Looking up he expected to see the slim nurse but was taken aback when he locked eyes with a frowning Spaniard.

"Antonio, I haven't seen you in awhile." Ludwig said standing from the stool beside his brother's bed.

"They told me they moved Gilbert down here," the dark-haired man said as he glanced warily at the other coma patients. "A bit creepy in here, no?"

"Y-yeah, I still get spooked when the nurse forgets I'm down here and turns off all the lights." Ludwig replied, he had tried, to no avail, to convince the nurses to leave the light over Gilbert on. He didn't want his brother to wake up in the dark with only the whir of machines and flickering of their lights.

"Mi amigo, Francis and I want you to take a break, go somewhere..." Antonio said with a slow smile.

"I can't, what if he wakes up?" Ludwig defended weakly.

"It's just for a few days, Francis and I will come to see Gilbert, and we'll call you if anything happens."

"I don't know I-"

"Just think about it, mi amigo," the Spaniard said handing the German a key. "Arthur's son, Alfred, has an apartment at the shore; you should see Francis with his step-sons. He thinks the world of them."

Ludwig smiled, "Thanks, Antonio, this means a lot."

"No problema, mi amigo," and with that he turned back down the corridor and out into the lit hall leaving the conflicted blonde to ponder his choices.

"Well, Gilbert? Should I?" He asked softly taking his seat once again, "It's been a long time since we went to the beach; the last time was with our parents. Before they died…" A soft hand reached out to brush the albino's cheek lightly. "Yeah, I know I should. Francis and Antonio will come to see you, just don't make any trouble for the nurse, I know what happens when you three get together… Waking up in that basement scared the hell out of me that one time…"

Laughing quietly Ludwig glanced at the clock, "Time for me to go, Gilbert." He stood with a sad smile tugging at his lips as his cheeks trembled with the weight of the smile. Leaning down Ludwig whispered gently in his brother's ear, "I'll be back in a few days; I'll even bring you a souvenir…" Cupping Gilbert's face in his hands, worn from years of nervous wringing. Ludwig kissed his brother's warm but unmoving lips, whispering into them, "I love you…"

~0o0~

Francis' step-son didn't have very good taste in beaches Ludwig decided as he drove down the highway that ran through the seaside city. The air was hot and dry and the smell of the sea was almost overpowering. Sun-kissed certainly wasn't the right term, the German frowned as the highway turned to run alongside the beach, sun-beaten maybe, but not sun-kissed. Looking out across the fairly calm gray water Ludwig could clearly see the shapes of oil-rigs in the gulf.

They looked almost like animals standing in the water. Their legs were long and straight, their bodies compact and square. For a moment Ludwig wondered if they would begin to walk, or bend their great steel heads to drink the salty water. Shaking the absurd thoughts from his head he turned into the parking-lot of the apartment complex.

The German climbed the stairs to the apartment and unlocked the door with the key Antonio had given him. Francis' step-son didn't have good taste in apartments either. The rooms were quaint, a bit worn from years of use, the type of place one might expect in a large but somewhat forgotten sea-side city. Honestly it had the aura of a semi-nice motel.

The only view of the ocean was from the claustrophobic kitchen; from the window Ludwig could see a gray streak on the horizon, hurray for the beach. Opening the off-white fridge the blonde decided that Francis' step-son didn't have very good taste in anything. He closed the refrigerator door, not wanting to take his chances with the cheap, expired beer it contained. Walking out the heavy sliding doors to the porch, he nearly caught his fingers trying to push it open; Ludwig looked out across a wide field to the port where steel beams and freighters created a wilderness.

"Oh, look, a refinery…" the German mumbled to himself before entering the apartment again, feeling the air conditioning blast onto his face as he opened the door. Heading to the bedroom Ludwig heaved his suitcase onto the bed and unzipped it. Taking out his black, red, and gold swimming trunks and an old t-shirt he peeled off his button down, trousers, and undergarments, changing into the beach clothes. Ludwig took out the pair of flip-flops, sunglasses, and a sunhat he had brought along with a fabric bag. The sunhat had been Gilbert's for when he went out when the sun was bright; it was tied with a lime-green ribbon and flopped unceremoniously over Ludwig's eyes. Taking the bag and taking care to put the apartment keys in the bag Ludwig headed out to the beach.

After a race across the freeway that lay between the beach and the apartment Ludwig trekked over the dune as sweat began to gather on his forehead. Fate was cruel and the wind that blew off the water was just as hot as the still air by the apartment. Stepping onto the somewhat crowded beach Ludwig immediately felt self-conscious wearing the rather effeminate sun hat that he'd always thought looked cute on Gilbert.

The hot wind carried the salty tang of the sea and along with irritating specks of sand. Not wanting to wrangle with his towel Ludwig simply placed the fabric bag on the ground, placing the straw hat and his sunglasses inside of it before removing his shirt. As he walked toward the water, after taking off his sandals, Ludwig blushed and hurried past a group of giggling girls. Wading out into the waves he was a bit surprised to find that the brackish water was lukewarm. Not a welcome sensation in the above ninety degree heat.

After a few moments Ludwig turned back to the shore as the water sloshed around his knees, irritated by the stifling heat and the fact he had nearly screamed when something had bumped against his legs several times. The soles of his feet burned on the sand as he marched back to his bag. Ludwig kicked on his sandals, pulled on his shirt and walked again towards the freeway. Halfway to the wooden stairs he stopped and reached into his bag. After a moment of digging through the now gritty towel the German produced an empty glass jar.

Ludwig sighed as he bent to fill the jar with the fine tan sand. Standing again he screwed the jar lid on and smiled at the soft sand that slid as he tilted the jar. Another trot across the freeway and up the flights of stairs Ludwig was once again the cramped but air conditioned apartment.

The blonde kicked off his shoes and changed into his pajamas. Sitting on the ratty green couch Ludwig glanced tiredly around the room silently. He needed alcohol and the beer in the fridge wasn't worth the risk. Seeing the beaten white phone on the side table he grappled in out of its cradle and dialed.

'So I called up the captain,

"Please bring me my wine."

He said, "We haven't had that spirit here since nineteen sixty-nine."'

A gruff slurred voiced answered, "'Ello, guest services."

"Yes, I'm calling from apartment number eight. Could you send up a bottle of Merlot?" Ludwig asked tiredly.

"Ha! Whaddya think dis place is? Da Ritz?" the accented voice laughed again, Ludwig could almost smell the man's breath over the phone, it wasn't pleasant. "We haven't had wine 'ere, since, nineteen sixty-nine. Ha!"

In a fit of rage Ludwig slammed the receiver down into the cradle and held his face in his hand groaning. Finally he stood from the couch and stumbled across the darkening room to the bedroom. Climbing into the gritty bed, still sandy from the last guest, whoever that might have been, Ludwig buried his face into the cool pillow, drew his breaths in an even practiced rhythm and fell asleep.

'And still those voices are calling from faraway,

Wake you up in the middle of the night,

Just to hear them say,

Welcome to the Hotel California,'

Ludwig's dreams were dark, undisturbed as the melody floated on the warm summer air. And then the singing began, whispering in his ear, calling him again to the dark room, where the occupants were neither dead nor alive. And the patients sang.

'Such a lovely place,

(Such a lovely place)'

Ludwig jolted from his bed panting heavily into the dark room. He was calling him, his brother was calling him. The German's ice blue eyes flashed in blue moonlight as he leapt from the bed. Digging through his suitcase he threw on a button-down shirt over his black undershirt and pulled on a pair of dress pants.

Grabbing his bags and suitcase tripping on his loose flip-flops Ludwig flew out of the apartment door and down the stairs to his car. Ludwig threw his bags into the passenger's seat and revved the car. As he sped off down the freeway the water glimmered orange with the streetlights and the humid early morning air was heavy with the smell and taste of the sea.

Seeing the shadowy ridges of the sand Ludwig's heart gave a sudden jolt when he remembered Gilbert's souvenir. The blonde plunged his hand into the beach bag and felt pure fear run through his veins when he felt nothing but the gritty towel and the rough straw hat.

But he had worried for nothing, Ludwig sighed as his fingers tapped on the cool glass jar. And so he continued his drive back to the hospital.

The near noon sky reflected blue on the Bell-Shepherd's windows. Clouds floated past in the glass and steel sky as a disheveled man rushed into the hospital.

"Oh! Mr. Beilschmidt! I thought you had gone in vacation, welcome back," the nurse at the desk said surprised.

"Good to see you too," Ludwig replied as he hurried towards the coma ward without signing in. The blonde entered the dark room and hurried to his brother's bedside, startling the nurse working in the ward.

'Such a lovely face,'

"Mr. Beilschmidt, I didn't expect you back so early." The mousy light brunette said as Ludwig sat himself down once again on his stool. "I'd thought you'd left for the week."

Ludwig nodded dumbly as he ran his hand against Gilbert's cheek. The younger brother ran his hand through his elder's hair; his china-blue eyes took in everything about his brother. His smooth porcelain face that should have accented with soft laugh lines by now, but Gilbert hadn't laughed for nearly seven years. Unlike Ludwig his snow white hair hid the silver streaks that his shone in his younger brother's slicked back hair.

'Livin' it up at the Hotel California,

What a nice surprise,

(What a nice surprise)

Bring you alibis.'

The German jumped when a hand gripped his shoulder gently and turned to face the smiling nurse. "I've got a little surprise for you," she smiled before looking down at Gilbert, a jeweled necklace gleaming around her throat, "You too Gilbert. We're moving you both back into your own room, isn't that great?"

Ludwig smiled achingly, "Thank you, we're very grateful," the blonde said, stroking his brother's pale hand. Gilbert's pulse slowed to a quiet calm beat.

"We'll move you upstairs as soon as possible, Mr. Beilschmidt."

"Thanks again, I'm going home to get Gilbert's things, have the hospital call me when he gets to his room," Ludwig stood and unabashedly kissed his brother's lips, the nurse had seen him do it enough times. "I'll be back, brother."

An hour later Ludwig flipped his cell phone shut as he pulled up to the Bell-Shepherd, the nurse had called, Gilbert was still being prepared for the transfer. So Ludwig carried the cardboard box filled with cards, a stuffed panda riding on top, to the coma ward to wait with his brother.

'Mirrors on the ceiling,

The pink champagne on ice,

She said, "We are all just prisoners here

Of our own device."'

For a moment the tall German fell asleep leaning over his brother's bed as he sat quietly on the little metal stool. The sudden noise of ice shifting in a container alerted him and he glanced up to see the nurse.

"I came to wait with you, Mr. Beilschmidt," she said quietly as she set the metal bucket of ice on the tray that was attached to the hospital bed and produced two fluted glasses from thin air.

Ludwig's light blue eyes fell almost sadly on the pink champagne, "I thought it was against the rules to drink on the job."

"It's just you, me, and all our friends here; I know they won't tell... They love secrets," the nurse scanned the room with her soft caring brown eyes, "Will you tell, Mr. Beilschmidt?"

Ludwig shook his head tiredly, the years of waiting were taking their toll, "No, I won't tell."

The nurse smiled and set down the glasses to pull up another stool before standing again to fill their glasses with the gay liquid. The pink champagne fizzed excitedly in the delicate glasses. Leaning down the nurse handed Ludwig his before pouring her own and taking a seat.

"Besides, you look like you need a bit of alcohol, Mr. Beilschmidt," she smiled and reached out to tousle his neat blonde hair quickly.

Ludwig immediately pushed the blonde strands back again, cringing at the memory of his older brother's pale hand running through his hair. The nurse's keen eyes saw the flash of pain as it flew through his eyes.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have-"

"No, i-it's fine," Ludwig cut her off, since his brother's move to the coma ward, the dainty nurse had been the closest thing he'd had to a friend, some days she had been a younger sister. Everyone had left him and Gilbert, Lovino, Feliciano, Francis, Arthur, even the good natured Antonio seemed distant when they had spoken just days ago.

"Well, Mr. Beilschmidt," the nurse raised her shimmering glass into the cool air, "To your brother's good health," she toasted.

Ludwig smiled, "To the good health of all our friends," he motioned about the room with his glass before the pair clinked the thin sides of their champagne glasses together. Ludwig raised the alcohol to his lips and without restraint downed the entire glass. The nurse peered over the glass rim of her own drink as she sipped the chilled champagne daintily.

Lowering her glass once more she looked the aging man over worriedly, "Would you like anymore, Mr. Beilschmidt?"

"No, no, I don't need any more alcohol…" Ludwig said softly as he swirled the last drops of the pink liquid gathered in the bottom of the glass. The nurse nodded and raised the drink to her lips once more. Silence gathered in the room once more and surrounded the pair of caretakers.

"You're a very good sibling, Mr. Beilschmidt," the nurse finally whispered.

"Hm?" Ludwig glanced up at her; he had faded into the humming of the machines for a moment.

The nurse smiled, "I said you are a very good sibling, Mr. Beilschmidt, very few would have the strength to wait when their brother's prognosis is so grim."

Ludwig turned to Gilbert and smiled gently, "He's not just my brother, he's... Gilbert is everything to me..." Ludwig sighed tears gathering in his blue eyes.

The nurse nodded understandingly and sipped her champagne quietly. Suddenly footsteps clattered down the hallway and into the ward. A young male doctor poked his head in just as the nurse snatched Ludwig's glass from his hand and stashed all evidence under the hospital bed.

"Oh, there you are, Mr. Beilschmidt, your brother's room is ready if you would like to take his things there, Gilbert will be there in just a minute." The doctor smiled at the nurse almost knowingly, but he wouldn't tell.

Ludwig nodded, "Thank you," he stood and picked up the box before moving steadily out of the room.

~0o0~

Ludwig sat in the stuffy orange tinted room as dust settled over cards and flowers. A tape player murmured in the background and the blonde hummed quietly with it. Gilbert breathed quietly in his sleep as the monitor tapped out a steady pulse.

'And in the master's chambers,

They gathered for the feast.

They stab it with their steely knives,

But they just can't kill the beast.'

The doctors thought that they might have something new for Gilbert today. Ludwig sat on his stool hopeful as the procession of white coats marched into the warm room.

"Are you sure this is what you want, Mr. Beilschmidt?" one of the doctors asked, "All patients react differently to these medicines."

Ludwig looked up at him with clouded eyes, a sad smile fixed on his face, "Is there a chance that my brother will wake up?"

The doctor glanced nervously around, in the past ten years his patient's brother had changed. His ice blue eyes reflected no light and in that past year his face had been set in a permanent smile, grief had overtaken his mind. "Yes, Mr. Beilschmidt, there is a chance that this will work."

Ludwig nodded, "Then we should try." The doctors nodded and a glittering syringe was filled with a clear liquid. Mechanically the doctor pressed out the air that was in the syringe, sending a stream of clear medicine through the air, it pattered silently onto the cool tile floor. Ludwig watched as the silver needle pierced his brother porcelain skin. The syringe was once again pressed, emptying its contents into Gilbert's blood. The needle was removed and the whir of machines was drowned out by the silence. And then, nothing, the whir of machines filled the air and the doctors became animated once more.

"It could take some time to take effect, Mr. Beilschmidt; until we see change we will continue your brother on this regiment." And with that the white coats disappeared down the still hallway. Ludwig sat next to his brother with a smile plastered on his face until the night defeated the day and he had to leave.

~0o0~

The weeks passed and still nothing as the song entered its final verses and the orange sun began to sink again. "Gilbert, oh Gilbert, why did you leave me like this? Why did you leave me?" Ludwig rambled, clutching at his throbbing head as the music spun out of control and sanity dropped away.

'Last thing I remember, I was

Running for the door,

I had to find the passage back

To the place I was before.'

Suddenly the light was shattered by shadows as Ludwig threw himself at the wall, breathing heavily into the hand that clutched at his face. "Why, bruder? Why? Why! Why! Why can't it all just go back to how it was before?"

His calloused hands tore at the brightly colored cards scattering them about the room. The music screamed on as the tape repeated endlessly. With a final swipe of his trembling hand the window was cleared of its shimmering vases filled with withered flowers. Water and petals spattered on the clean white hospital sheets and crystal shards of glass dusted the floor. And Ludwig wept, sitting on the worn stool; he wept and lamented all that could have been. The heart monitor raced above his brother's head as shouting filled the room and the broken man was taken from his brother.

~0o0~

Once again they were on the damp coma ward. Ludwig caressed his brother's hand gently. "I'm sorry, Gilbert, I couldn't help myself, it's been ten years. Ten years without you, to the date. I still have that souvenir I brought for you from the beach. The sand still feels warm in the jar."

Ludwig brought Gilbert's hand up to the glass jar and ran the clammy skin against the smooth glass. "I wish you would wake up, the doctors still hope that the medicine will wake you up but…"

'"Relax," said the night man,

"We are programmed to receive.

You can check out any time you like,

But you can never leave!"'

"I know I shouldn't be so cynical, you are always full of surprises, Gilbert…" A buzzing began in his head; he could feel something pulling away from him. "And… And… I love you, Gilbert, you know that right?" Ludwig's arm felt numb, maybe he was just tired. The German placed the glass of sugary sand on the table and leaned across his brother to kiss his warm lips. "Of course you know it, you always knew it."

Ludwig rested his head on the clean whit sheets and drew his breaths evenly but the tightness continued in his chest and even breaths became staggered pants. Ludwig's body trembled and convulsed slightly, his hand knocked against the table and the glass jar wobbled and danced on its round bottom before falling and rolling slowly towards the edge. Glazed blue eyes fell on the patient in the bed and his brother drew his last breath as the glass jar smashed against the cold tile floor. Sand and sparkling crystals leapt into the air before falling back down as the warmth escaped the jar and the dead man's body.

~0o0~

"I am standing in front of the Bell-Shepherd Hospital where ten years ago Gilbert Beilschmidt was admitted after a car wreck that nearly cost his and his brother's lives. Beilschmidt's brother, Ludwig Beilschmidt and two other passengers were also admitted with him however their injuries were not as severe. Gilbert Beilschmidt was found to have serious brain damage after the crash but the fact was not realized until too late and the elder Beilschmidt slipped into a comatose state which he stills remains in to this day."

"As you can see behind me," the glossy haired brunette motioned to the front doors of the hospital. "A procession is currently being held for Ludwig Beilschmidt who died late last night from cardiac arrest. The surprise heart attack was not foreseen by doctors though they say the stress of the past ten years certainly played a part in his untimely death. All of Beilschmidt's friends say that the younger Beilschmidt was a loving and dedicated sibling who rarely left his brother's side during the past ten years. More of this story to come later today, this is Amanda Daws, Channel 12 News."

* * *

Sorry this took a long time, I didn't realize how long this chapter would be and school caught up with me... Again sorry for the long wait! Enjoy!~


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